Your Future?

Personal Development, Relax and Enjoy, Stress, happiness

Last week I was talking to a psychic, let’s call him Alex, who had the ability to talk to spirits.

“People come to me to find out if they are heading in the right direction,” Alex said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“For example, if you had to make a choice to take a job offer I could tell you if it would have a positive outcome on your future.”

I believe in many things, but I don’t believe that anyone can predict my future. The future is not meant to be seen, it’s meant to be experienced. Besides, every situation can be found to have some favorable outcome.

I’ve fallen back into the bad habit of wanting my life to be set. I want my future to be certain. I want my life to be heading in the right direction.

Will this blog ever take off, so I can do it full time?

Will I ever become a renowned writer?

How much money will I earn in ten years?

Am I going to be happier in the future?

The problem with all these questions is their inability to satisfy my expectations. They only create more frustration. I always seem to forget to ask myself the most important question of all.

What’s enjoyable about where I’m presently located?

This question allows me to focus my thoughts on enjoying the present instead of worrying about the future.

I get caught up in needing definitive answers. I so desperately wanted to ask that psychic if I was heading in the right direction. I held back because I knew that no matter what he said I would interpret it the way that I wanted it to fit into my life. If he said I wasn’t heading in the right direction, I would label him a farce. If he said I was heading in the right direction, I would have interpreted it as truth. I knew this, but I still wanted his approval. I couldn’t deny these feelings.

I know I don’t need his approval to validate my choices. I only need my own approval. I wrote about this topic in a blog called Seek Your Own Approval. I am the only person able to affect my feelings. Even if someone gives me validation I still must accept it. I must weigh their views against my own. If my opinions are stronger then they must be in line with mine or I will dismiss them as invalid.

The future validates our present actions. Are you a good mother? We’ll see in twenty years. Were you a good business man? We’ll find out in thirty years. This is also a mistake. Why wait 10, 20, 30 years to feel good about your life? You try your best to make good decisions now, but in ten years when you have more wisdom you might look back and laugh at your naïve self. Appreciate the effort that you exert. Don’t wait until you have a better grasp on your life to enjoy it because this goal is unattainable until you accept who you are and love yourself for the good and bad choices you make everyday.

Even if this psychic could tell me my life’s answers, do I really need to know them? Would this make me any happier? I think not. I would probably still worry about the answers. The key is learning to appreciate our moment to moment happenings because our own answers are subjective. One man who made a million dollars with his business considers himself a success while another will be considered a failure. There are no concrete answers. There are only more questions.

The future is always dangling in front of us and our own minds screen our view. Like many things in front of us we look right past it. Instead of looking past this screen we should redirect our thoughts and feelings to the beauty in front of us, the screen itself – our minds. Your mind dictates your happiness, not the future.

Next time you are out with a friend or your spouse and you notice your attention waning toward a crowd of noise or someone attractive, bring your attention back to that person. Give that person all of your focus; meditate on that person’s every detail. Notice the color of their eyes or the pitch of their voice, then take a moment to be grateful for who they are. When you do this you’ll be cultivating the skill to enjoy the present moment, focusing your thoughts on what was perceived as a screen, and turning that person in front of you into your desire instead of wishing for the future to drop some other magical possibility into your lap.

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Karl @ February 1, 2008